Midsommar Director Ari Aster to Remake Nothing But Trouble; Promises Not to Be As Funny As Hereditary

 

Director Ari Aster is making quite the name for himself among horror fans.   He recently directed the summer's surprise hit Midsommar after his 2018 hit Hereditary which is leaving several horror fans shocked.  Right now Aster could do no wrong and Blumehouse is optioning to have him direct a remake of the film made famous by Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd. 

 

     Blumehouse founder and producer Jason Blume stated that "Aster is the perfect candidate to reboot this underrated black comedy.  His humor is subtle but always finds it's audience that is why he is going to be perfect."  Horrorable News agrees about the humor in Aster's films and we award Aster with funniest death for his scene in Hereditary where Charlie is decapitated with the pole.  Classic slapstick at it's finest.

 

     "I don't want it to be too funny" Aster told Horrorable News.  "I want to keep the humor light like my previous films but make Nothing But Trouble darker and with more political sub-plots.  I want to make the junkyard twins Bobo and Lil Debbull like Trump and Hilary with the two always fighting over the same things while thinking it's different." 

 

Horrorable News is very excited to see this film.  Honestly, Hereditary is extremely overrated and almost unwatchable but we have to pretend to like it so those high on their own brand of farts wont bash us for "not getting it" on social media.  Anyway, keep up the lords work Ari Aster!



Special Effects Artist and Director Marcus Koch to Retire from Horror to Focus on Being A Pastry Chef

 

     Marcus Koch has carved his name into horror history over the course of his career.  He has directed the unforgettable films Rot, 100 Tears, and American Guinea Pig: Bloodshock, as well as, contributed special effects to the films Death-Scort Service, Her Name Was Torment 2, Song of Solomon, Death House and many more.  Marcus is an unstoppable force within the indie horror community and that is why his leaving is such a shock to horror fans.  "My heart just wasn't in it anymore" Marcus told Horrorable News.

 

     Marcus' career has spanned over 20 years but to him "it was never meant to be a permanent thing.  I just wanted to focus on the culinary arts but my friends were avid horror fans and would drag me along to do their films.  I was secretly taking classes to be a pastry chef and the things I was learning in these classes was actually making me a better at practical effects.  The better I got at cooking the better at practical effects I was getting which created a demand for my work.  More indie filmmakers were contacting me to work on their films.  One was feeding the other and pushing me further and further down the rabbit hole that I never wanted to be a part of to begin with.   I struggled with latex for the longest time but when I learned how to cut and shape fondant icing for cakes I was able to apply that technique to latex and soon I was building elaborate gags for the American Guinea Pig series for Stephen Biro."

 

     "I'm not entirely turning my back on horror" Marcus added.    "I still want to be active on film sets but the food services is where my true passion lies.  Now, if you can excuse me I need to finish the baklava for Felissa Rose."

Dark Force Entertainment Promises Tomorrow for Release of Dead Pit; Real Date Set for the Fall

 

     Dark Force Entertainment and Code Red has partnered to release the 1989 horror film The Dead Pit.  The original plan was to have a slipcover that would light up in similar fashion to the old Frankenhooker VHS.  When they failed to recreate what a VHS big box could do almost 30 years ago they decided to go a different route.  This time they planned a glow in the dark slipcover similar to the old Goosebumps folders and notebooks from the 90s.  Well, this turned into bigger than expected task when they tried to recreate technology that was used massively 20 years ago.

 

      The setbacks has caused Dark Force and Code Red to push the release back until tomorrow.  Tomorrow was first announced 6 or so days ago and that is still the general answer being thrown around social media.  Many codebreakers have concluded that this release is actually scheduled for October but Dark Force wants to keep the excitement up by claiming tomorrow for the release everyday until the actual release.

 

     Those that question Dark Force and their drunken banana mascot find themselves placed on "the list."  This has lead to speculations that Dark Force is actually the property of Chris Jericho who was known in the WWE for his list gimmick with many believing the person that is often in the videos looking like a Tripp Eisen impersonator is just there to throw viewers off. 

 

     If you are looking forward to the release of The Dead Pit please check back tomorrow for more news on it!

Horror Fan Turns Movie Collecting Hobby into Successful YouTube Career; Haters Forced to Buy Movies Like the Losers They Are

 

     YouTuber and movie reviewer Byron Miller has turned his passion for movie collecting into a successful YouTube channel.  Miller started showing off his movie collection six years ago on YouTube and over time he has slowly gained a substantial following.  His movie update and quick movie reviews has caught the eye of several film distribution companies who now send him product to feature on his channel.  "I never expected this to happen" Miller told Horrorable News.  "When I crossed 20k subscribers I started getting emails from companies that I've collected for years asking to showcase their newest releases.  I couldn't pass this up and now I get new releases every few days from several outstanding companies.  It does ruffle a few feathers among the movie groups but I don't lose any sleep over it."  Miller said while laughing.  "It's not like I'm going to cry myself to sleep knowing someone I don't know turned me into a meme because I get movies for free that they spend $20 and $30 a piece for."

 

     Miller's success has caused controversy among other collectors and movie snobs.  "It's so fucking stupid" said movie collector Chris Dryer.  "He shows the front and back of the movie and these companies give him this shit for free while I'm over here doing nothing with my time and bitching for free shit.  It makes absolutely no sense.  Hell, I could record a video, edit it, and then upload it but I don't want to invest that much time into it." 





Indie Horror Actress Loves Her Social Media Fans; Asks for Less Dick Pics

 

     Indie horror actress Marigold Gorebottom has made a name for herself over the last few years for her topless appearances in the indie horror productions Big Breasted Aliens from Uranus, The Double D Killer, Sorority Slasher Slashing Sorority Babes, and as an extra in Maid in Manhattan.  Because of her bare all approach to her roles she has earned a considerable following on her social media accounts.  "I love my fans" Marigold told Horrorable News.  "They are like my second family.  I spend hours every day interacting with them. They really do mean the world to me."

 

     All this fame has a price Marigold says.  "I do get a lot of dick pics.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a woman and I enjoy sex too but some of these things shouldn't be shared with the world. I may get one that makes me want a nibble out of 100.  The rest of odd shaped or discolored.  Like, why are they green, curved, and twisted to the side?  What are you doing to cause that and why would you share it with me? I would just like to ask fans to refrain from sending me all these dick pics.  If I want dick I'll go to Pornhub or watch the news."  



Florida Man Embarrassed for Answering "Jason" When Friend Asked Who Was Doing the Killing in Friday the 13th

      Brett Wimmer of Florida is in the news this week for his reckless abandonment when answering horror trivia.  It happened Monday 7/1 when Brett was with several of his friends.  They often gather together to watch horror movies, drink, and ask each other horror trivia. "It's a fun way to pass the time while watching movies" Brett told Horrorable News.  "We usually ask each other some real stumpers to show our horror dominance.  I can't believe I was caught off guard like that with something so simple."

     Horrorable News was able to speak with Brett's friend Ron who asked him the controversial question.  "I was drawing a blank and the question popped in my head so I just fired it off.  I was sure he would say Pamela but he didn't.  What a dumb fuck.  I mean, he's not wrong I guess if you say Friday the 13th part II or whatever.  I didn't say that so he's still a try hard poser!"

     Brett has since backed out of all horror groups after hard criticism and ridicule.  He has asked Horrorable News and other horror sites to send over thoughts and prayers for this troubling time. 

Scream Factory To Put Out Collector's Edition of Ryan Nicholson's Gutterballs 2: Balls Deep

LOS ANGELES, California -

Scream Factory, the company known for their Collector's Editions of horror and B-movies, announced today that they have secured the rights to Ryan Nicholson's Gutterballs 2, which was supposed to have come out years ago, but never did due to a mix of legal and other "unknown issues."

"We're excited to be able to put this out, and we have packed the disc with special features," said Scream Factory in their Facebook post. "The cover art is TBD, but will be coming from Devon Whitehead. The planned release date is October 3rd. We will have more information soon!"

Although many people who are casual fans of Nicholson's say they are excited to see the movie, there is still a huge controversy that was not resolved in the post from Scream Factory.

"I already dropped $200 on this movie during the campaign, and I didn't get shit," said angry fan Marc Dyer. "I am not going to fucking pay another cent for this movie, and I better get a free copy of the Scream version."

Nicholson allegedly took in nearly $20,000 in an online funding campaign for Gutterballs 2, but no product ever surfaced. That campaign ended in December of 2014. As of this writing, all contributors have just been patiently waiting, hoping for a glimmer of light at the end of a never-ending tunnel, but even with this announcement, the light has gotten dimmer.

Horrorable News reached out to Scream Factory about their reaction to fan backlash, but they said they "didn't know anything about it."

"If there are copies that are owed from a previous purchase, that has nothing to do with us," said Scream Factory. "They will have to take that up with Ryan Nicholson. We will not be handing out free copies to anyone from a prior purchase. That said, after Gutterballs 2 we do plan to release his entire back catalog, as well as some other never-before-released films. We're really stoked!"

"Man, this is total bullshit," said another frustrated campaign purchaser, Robert Thomas. "I threw down hundreds in anticipation of getting blu-rays of not just Gutterballs and Gutterballs 2, but also there was an announcement for Gutterballs 3! Fuck all of this shit."

Horrorable News also tried reaching out to Ryan Nicholson to find out more about his plans regarding getting copies of the movie to people who'd paid years ago, but he blocked us on social media.