Horror Fans Disappointed in Scream Factory's Friday the 13th Collection; Some Woman Killing Campers in Part 1

     Scream Factory, an off shoot of Shout Factory, has been bringing horror fans genre releases for several years.  They have built a reputation around their blu releases but it has not come without some fan push back.  In recent years Scream Factory has released several films that had some minor, yet inconvenient, defects.  

     With their biggest release yet, which was an endeavor that took an entire team to compile and accumulate content, has now been said to have some minor issues.  In several of the scenes an added sound effect is missing, as well as, some discoloring on the box.  But the biggest problem of all is one no one saw coming.  Some horror fans have dived deep into the set already and some have noticed that in the very first Friday the 13th film that the iconic slasher has been removed and replaced with some old woman.  "It's so unreal.  I don't know how Scream could fuck up like that" said Tyler.  "I fucking love the Jason movies but Scream has completely removed him from the first film aside from the ending.  It makes no fucking sense." 

    Many horror fans have contacted Scream for refunds due to this monumental fuck up.  Let's hope Scream Factory is quick to rectify this situation.    

Man Scalping Friday the 13th Collection Tins Slaps Scream Factory with Cease and Desist

     Rob Holiday, better known on eBay as ugotrobbed, has supported his ever growing family by scalping movies on the auction site.  Rob sells a little of everything on his eBay store and if he thinks he can make a buck he will make the gamble on buying movies in bulk.  "I have a wife and kids to feed, nah sayin?" Rob told Horrorable News.  "I've been hustlin' on the bay for years now and companies like Syndrome and Scream are making it rough for a business man like myself."

     Rob is referring to Vinegar Syndrome who released Nightbeast on blu last year.  The DVD release of the film was going for absurd prices on eBay but that well dried up when Vin Syn released a remastered version of the film on blu.  "Now these cocksuckers are taking food out of my kids mouth and I can't be standin' by with my fingers up my ass.  I gotta stop em, nah sayin?  I'm sitting on 6 of these Jason tins that I'm selling for a hefty price.  Scream doesn't give a flying fuck about us little guys.  That's why I hit em with the ol' cease and desist notice.  I was doing this shit first!"

Halloween Kills Delayed After Blumhouse Realizes They Accidentally Re-Filmed Halloween II Scene for Scene

     Horror fans are distraught after learning that the upcoming Halloween sequel, Halloween Kills, has been delayed.  Many of them suspected it was an unfortunate casualty of the pandemic but Horrorable News has discovered that was not the case.

 

     Bryan Miller is an intern with Blumhouse and was able to sit down with us to discuss the delay while giving us some insight on what it's like to work with Jason Blume.  

     "He's a pretty cool guy" Miller noted.  "He is always nice to work with.  The fart sniffing is a bit weird but everyone likes what they like.  Hell, I'm a feet guy myself.  As for the new Halloween film, it's going to be sometime before it's released.  When Jason, Carpenter, and Curtis was discussing the film and looking over the dailies they realized that the team had accidentally made a shot for shot remake of Halloween II."

     When asked if he thinks Halloween Kills will be better than Halloween 2018 Bryan replied with "It's a good chance they will make the same movie again without realizing it."

Vinegar Syndrome Announces HOWLING:NEW MOON RISING as Part of Their New "You Will Buy Anything" Line of Slipcovers

     Vinegar Syndrome has made a name for themselves over the years with their top notch releases and film preservation.  They take risks on films that most companies would turn a blind eye to.  In most cases those risks have paid off resulting in Vin Syn making bigger gambles with each release.  

    After their record breaking sells for Rad and Tammy and the T-Rex, Vinegar Syndrome has realized that their fan base is rabid and will purchase anything.  It is because of this that they just announced a new line of slipcovers only.  "We are proud to bring you our new You Will Buy Anything line of slipcovers.  With this line we want to bring to you, our beloved fans, a line of slipcovers to movies that flat out suck but we know you will buy them regardless" Vin Syn posted on Facebook today.  

     Fan have already jumped behind it with several already pre-ordering the slip only release. "This is fucking history and I can't wait to get it" Sonny Lindsey told Horrorable News.  "The slip is going for $39.99 but once it sells out I know I can easily hawk it on eBay for $100.  I fucking love Vinegar Syndrome!"

Note - this is a satire article but it doesn't matter.  You will just read the headline and flip your shit.  Viva la France.  

Horror Fan Adds Aging Actor She Admires on Facebook to Discover He Has Completely Different Political Views

     Thelma Venetti has been a lifelong horror fan.  Her parents perished in a car crash when she was a child and her uncle took over parental duties after their death.  "He loved horror and would show it all to me.  We would watch bloody ones, funny ones, sleazy ones, and stupid ones" Thelma told Horrorable News.

     In the age of social media it is common for fans to seek out those they admire and add them on various platforms.  Venetti was no exception and has added dozens of actors and actresses she grew up watching.  "Some of them were pretty cool.  After adding them I would spark up conversation with them and it meant a lot to me."  However, not all were memorable moments for Venetti.  "A few weeks ago I found an actor that has been in several films I would watch with my uncle.  I added him on Facebook and within just a matter of minutes he was posting political banter and showing his extreme ideology.  I loved him in those movies but I never expected this man who was the opposite gender as me and several decades older to have a such a different outlook on life as I do!"

Severin Films Announces New "All Sites Matter" Slogan After Recent Failure

     Severin Films recently made genre headlines when they announced their new sale only to have their site crash shortly after launch.  They reported to social media where they laid claim that their site was ddos'd but many fans refused to believe this.

"They are a small label so why would anyone want to bring their site down" Manny Logan proclaimed via Facebook.

While others agreed with him some believed Severin and suspected that rival labels were the culprit with many laying claim that Vinegar Syndrome was behind the cyber attack.  "Vin Syn has been slaying it lately with non-genre releases like Rad and Tammy and the T-Rex. They are mad at Severin's success because they don't have to leave the genre to successfully make money" said Peter Sizemore on Twitter.  

In wake of the fiasco, Severin has announced a brand new slogan that they hope unifies all small businesses trying to survive during this trying time.  All Sites Matter is expect to be printed on all their products going forward and they hope other movie labels will adopt it as well to show their solidarity with Severin.    

Enthusiastic Filmmaker Answers Questions from Asshole with No interest in Buying His Movies

     Indie filmmaker Kevin Dillard is a hardworking man trying to keep his head afloat.  
"Physical media is a thing of the past" Dillard told Horrorable News.  "People are all about instant gratification so they never order movies.  They stream and most streaming platforms want nothing to do with indie horror."  

Dillard, when not working on his on films, supplements his income by editing video for other filmmakers and attending cons.  "Selling my movies at cons is where I get my money back after sinking everything I have into them."

Cons are not always fun for filmmakers like Dillard.  Some convention centers or hotel halls sometimes fill quickly with eager genre fans looking to snag a picture with the cast of The Walking Dead.  To pass time while in line they sometimes spark up conversations with filmmakers working their table.  This can sometimes take several minutes or even hours depending on how backed up the photo op lines are.  These people will often take filmmaker's attention away from the table and other prospects interested in buying their films while they answer questions thinking this person will buy.

"At every con I attend I deal with people like that several times a day.  They just ask question after question for what feels like forever only to put my movies down and leave so they can snag a picture with the crafts table from The Walking Dead."

Horrorable News asks all of you to support indie filmmakers.  Their success is based on your support and they need you.  Who knows, you may even like these movies.  

Horror Fan Suspects Sherri Moon of Sleeping with Rob Zombie in Order to Obtain Roles

     Rob Zombie has made a name for himself in the horror community with films like House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, 31, Lords of Salem, and his remake of Halloween.  Love him or hate him but you can't deny his contributions to the genre.  Zombie is known for recycling the same cast members but the most notable member is actress Sherri Moon.  Many, like redditor bloobybuttplug69, suspects Moon of sleeping with Zombie in order to land gigs.  "I mean, think about it.  In all their pictures together they are always awkwardly close and she's a horrible actress.  Why would he be casting her if he's not rearranging her guts" bloodybuttplug69 posted on Reddit.  

     After the reddit post went viral many have came forward with proof that Moon and Zombie may be secretly dating with some even proclaiming that the pair secretly eloped.  Horrorable News reached out to Rob Zombie for a comment but was unable to do so when we found a sock on his bedroom door.  

Trump Appoints Severin Films As Cyber Security for Online Voting

     Severin Films, the boutique bluray and DVD label known for releasing obscure horror and exploitation films, recently made national headlines when Trump tweeted that he has brought them on to oversee online voting.  "Severin has proven themselves time and time again that they are capable of huge, and I mean, huge releases" Trump tweeted Friday.  "They handled themselves tremendously recently during their massive sale and showed they had what it takes to enforce online voting this November.  With them on my side we can expect a landslide victory over the liberal left giving America another four years with me as king."

     Horrorable News reached out to Severin for a comment but their website is still down and their emails pinged back as an invalid.  

Aspiring Serial Killer Recommends Wearing a Mask - "I can't kill you if you are already dead"

       Covid has most of the world on edge and Shawn, like many of us, are stressing over the situation with only one big exception.  Shawn is worried about Covid killing you and not him.  No, he's not worried about you dying.  He actually WANTS you to die but he wants to be the one to kill you.  Shawn is an aspiring serial killer from Toronto.  He has taken to social media to vent his frustration with the pandemic and how the Corona virus took killing right out of his hands.

  

     "I've always wanted to kill" Shawn told Horrorable News.  "I've never liked people and as I was growing up I always had to hide my blood lust from my family and friends.  I was going to make 2020 my year and begin my reign over Toronto in March but Corona closed everything down.  With everyone hiding in their home I was unable to prey on the people of the city.  Now, everyone is ignoring the mandatory masks and succumbing to it.  HOW IN THE FUCK CAN I TORTURE AND KILL YOU IF YOU DIE TO THE FUCKING CORONAVIRUS!"

     Horrorable News understands Shawn's frustrations.  Too many entitled fuck knuckles are running around snotting and breathing on people instead of wearing masks.  These same people that refuse to wear a mask don't know what a clit is and was still trying to pick up high school girls well into their 20s because women their age needed a real man.  

Man Holds Off Would Be Attacker by Reminding Him That "All Lives Matter"

     Harvey Gaines was on his way home late one night after some late night bowling with some friends when he noticed he was being followed.  When he turned around to confront his would be attacker he found himself starring at the business end of a blade.

"I was terrified.  I've heard of people having knives and guns pulled on them but I never thought I would have it happen to me" Gaines told Horrorable News.  "I just turned around and when I saw my reflection in the knife I was froze with fear. That's when he said "are you ready to die mother fucker?"  I gasped and calmly said "please don't kill me...all lives matter.  The damndest thing happened after I said that.  The man looked at his hand holding the knife and then quickly dropped it while apologizing.  He told me I was right and kept talking about how wrong it was to threaten him like that."

     

Fast Food Employee Has An Idea to Help Vinegar Syndrome Ship Out His Package Faster

     Frank Fulci, who is also known as Frightening Frankie on YouTube, has spent most of his adult life working for a popular fast food chain so Frankie knows a thing or two about good business.  This 43 year old is now acting manager for the fast food chain that he has spent 27 years working for and wants to help the boutique label Vinegar Syndrome become successful.

     "I ordered from them during their halfway to black Friday sale which was their biggest sale to date.  They had orders come in from all over the world on a release that has a huge cult following for.  That is why I believe that if they would ignore social distancing and state regulated limited occupancy laws and hire more people to help with shipping then I wouldn't have to wait like I did.  It's almost insulting that they don't want to cram more people in their building to package orders and risk exposing each other to COVID so I can get my order in what I think is a timely manner."

     Horrorable News reached out to the money grubbing Vinegar Syndrome on why they refuse to hire more employees and risk spreading Corona but we were sidetracked by the July pre-orders.