Thursday, May 16, 2019

Alabama Lawmakers Make All Abortions Legal After Watching A Serbian Film

     Alabama lawmakers made national headlines yesterday when they banned abortions in almost all instances including cases of rape and incest.  This has drawn heat from both political parties, as well as, some prominent religious figures.
 
     Today the state is once again making headlines after pulling a 180 and making all abortions legal and we have Alabama's State Film Treasurer Barton Hyatt to thank for that.  "We are living in 2019 and this state that I love just jumped backward 100 years.  I love the state but I couldn't sit here and let women's rights be taken away from a panel of white men!  I had two ideas that might work.  The first was to play their game.  They banned abortion so I thought we could start a social media campaign to have every white woman in the country sleep with a minority until they become impregnated which would force them to reinstate abortions.  There is nothing a white politician hates more than a white woman carrying a Mexican or African American baby.  OR I could use my power as the State's Film Treasurer and show the governor and other figureheads A Serbian Film.  I went with the latter because it was a more direct approach that wouldn't take 9 months" Barton told Horrorable News.   
 
The state capital is a mess this morning.  Many prominent politicians did not show today with some stating they are still sick from the film.  "The film did what I had hoped it would but we now face a bigger problem.  There is talks now that they are working on an extreme horror ban after these lawmakers watched A Serbian Film.  I don't want to be that guy but I'd rather watch horror movies..."


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