Horror Movie Campaign Contributors Upset To Find Out Their New $100 Blu-rays Are Not Made of Solid Gold

STATEN ISLAND, New York -

An increasing number of campaign investors who just today spent hard-earned money to buy massively overpriced Blu-rays of the new indie horror film Fart The Clown Returns are outraged and taking to social media to complain that the discs are not made of solid gold.

"Frankly, I'm bullshit," said Carl Judge, 30. "I plopped down $100 on a Blu-ray of Fart the Clown Returns, because I assumed that at that outrageous fucking price, it was going to be a solid gold collector's edition. Imagine my surprise to learn that it's just a regular movie in a normal blu-ray case. And signed, too, but by a bunch of people I've never heard of, so what value is that?"

It wasn't just Judge, though, who was upset. While there were people excited to throw down a full month's rent to purchase a mug and a poster and happily shared the campaign with their 1% friends, most normal horror fans and other indie producers and directors were flabbergasted at the response.

"I created a pretty big cult movie myself, and when I tried to crowdfund just a few thousand to help get a sequel off the ground, it went nowhere," said filmmaker Mark Coke. "It's a bit disheartening, honestly. I guess instead of the normal $30 t-shirts and $20 blu-rays that I was offering for perks, I should have been charging $150 for a mug and $85 for a DVD. That's probably a much easier way to make over $100,000 in a single day."

There were some fans who were very excited to see a new, generic killer clown movie would be coming soon.

"I was overjoyed to be able to get involved in this campaign," said Flora Richardson, 22. "I watched the first Fart movie on Netflix, and oh my God it's so scary and intense! It's the scariest movie I've ever seen, and so violent, oh my God. Oh my God. I loved it. I was scared and covered my eyes a lot, but I loved it. So when I heard about Fart 2 I wanted to be a part of it, so I asked my Daddy if I could borrow a few thousand and I was able to get a social media shout-out and a pin and my name in the 'thank you' section at the end of the movie. It's going to be so cool!"

The filmmaker behind Fart the Clown Returns could not be reached for comment, as presumably he was busy laughing all the way to the bank and making fun of stupid horror fans. The new film comes out at some point next year, but who gives a shit, because you probably can't afford to buy a copy right now anyway.