Miami, Florida -
Albert Francis, 80, said he was "extremely disturbed" and "more than a little pissed" to discover that his grandson, Tim Francis, 19, didn't store any porn on his computer, and that all he had saved were horror movies.
"Damnit, I thought that all kids today had tons of porn on their laptops," said the elder Francis. "I lived through I don't know how many damn wars, the death of two wives, and all I wanted was a quick tugger, and couldn't find a gaul-damn thing on Tim's computer to watch. All he had was nasty horror movies. But not that good nasty, like I like. The real nasty, you know? Decapitations! I saw a man get his head cut off! There's something wrong with that boy, absolutely."
Tim, who was visiting a friend at the time of his grandfather's file searching, said he wasn't upset his grandfather was using his computer for porn, he was just kind of confused we he thought there might be some saved.
"I haven't had a porn file saved since I was like nine or something," said young Tim. "Jesus, doesn't granddad know about the internet? I stream my porn like a normal guy. I will say, though, I'm a bit upset he deleted all my downloaded episodes of Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs. It took me hours to find all those."
Albert says he wants to get Tim help, because he's convinced that the young Francis masturbates to the horror movies, but Tim said he's not worried.
"Gramps is headed back to the Home at the end of the weekend, so I think I'll just bring him back a day early and get him a subscription to PornHub."
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