After months of swiping left on the single women in his community via the social dating app Tinder, Steve MacDonald, 25, thought he had finally found the woman of his dreams Thursday night. After looking through all her pictures, (mostly of her and 4 other women and usually with snapchat animal filters turned on) Steve found the exactly the key to their ongoing love.
Teresa, 23, stated in her bio to be a horror fan. Knowing that this is akin to discovering Atlantis or finding a unicorn in the wild, Steve swiped right post haste.
Much to his surprise, she connected with him instantly. Steve, unable to contain his excitement leaped from the toilet and ran around screaming "YES" for 2 minutes. After chatting for an hour on the app, the two decided that they wanted to get a coffee at a neighborhood shop later in the week.
In the coming days, Steve held whole conversations about the ranking order of Guinea Pig movies and how they would match up with hers. He put together movie night playlists of the most obscure Naschy movies he could think of. Then he thought about if they would be Tor Johnson and Vampira for Halloween this year. Planned a trip to Cinema Wasteland in October. His spirits soared like they never had before.
Throwing on his old Fright Rags Phenomena shirt, Steve strutted down to the coffee shop to meet Teresa. After getting their respective drinks and sitting down outside, the conversation began in earnest, and they were hitting it off quite well.
Then the big moment happened:
Steve asked Teresa what her favorite horror movie was. After a little giggling, she came out as saying she "didn't watch much horror but LOVED the new IT movie. Aren't clowns so spooky?!"
"Oh....yeah I suppose..." Steve responded. Crushed, and knowing that he had been duped, Steve proceeded to down the rest of his coffee in 5 minutes and wish her a good night.
Steve, in a post date interview, told Horrorable News of his disappointment and that he would forge on. "Sure she was nice, cute, and we got along and all, but I can't be with someone who's favorite movie is that clown bullshit. No way. I have standards."
As of this writing, Steve is now on Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, Badoo, Hinge, and Plenty Of Fish to find his gore soaked goddess.
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